My Journey...Coming Home to Soul
FROM SEEKER TO SACRED
I was deeply depressed, anxious, and out of sorts; I experienced night terrors and wanted to crawl out of my skin. I knew deep in my being something was missing. With a family history of bi-polar disorder, I sought help from a psychologist. NOT the answer. The prescribed drugs and therapy only made it worse.
Yet, Something was Off.
ONCE UPON A TIME…there was a woman who fell from Grace and returned.
I was cruising along quite nicely in a fun corporate career: winning awards; nice retirement package; great insurance; bonuses; and plenty of admiration. I was at the top of my game (emphasis on game)! To top it off, I had a fun home life. A very sweet man loved me deeply and I loved him deeply as well. Our family was rounded out with Allie, a cute feisty dog, and we lived in a beautiful home on many acres of sacred land. In other words, I had it all.
Then I stumbled upon Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. Ah, this felt right. So, I plunged into the metaphysical movement, taking all the classes at the local Science of Mind church.
I was still depressed and anxious, but I had a path. In the beginning of my study of mind and spirit, I felt a deep, internal call to leave my corporate career to include the body. Visions in my dreams led me to complete a 1000 hr. Holistic Health Practitioner training. This was an intense program for both body/energy and mind/spirit.I became a very sought after spiritual practitioner and a highly respected body/energy therapist.
Once again, I had a sweet career.
Life Felt on Purpose...
And, yet...I was still depressed, however, the tools enabled me to see clients. I resigned myself to the fact that depression is genetic, that it can’t be healed.
Unexpectedly, one day I was invited to Peru. Hmmm, I had never been to Peru and knew nothing about it. It just felt right to say, “Yes!” During my trip, I was basically ditched by my traveling companion. I found myself stranded at the top of Macchu Picchu. No money, no phone (this was before cell phones-tee he!), no plane ticket home, no way to communicate (English my only language).
Can you Say Surrender?
Something Awakened in Me...
So I wandered the mountain curious about the magic and mystery of the people and the land. As I sat by the temple of the Condor, a group of people surrounded me and the native guide started sharing his wisdom (in English!). I was invited to join the group as they moved off to continue their exploration of the ruins. Of course I said, “Yes!”
Next thing I knew, we were in Sunset Ceremony, honoring the land and the ancestors of the land. I was so touched by the gentleness of the guide. I stayed the night at the hotel at the top of Macchu Picchu (grateful it was already paid for) and greeted the returning group in the morning as they got off the bus. We trekked to an upper plateau for Sunrise Ceremony. The guide had us lie on our backs in a circle on the earth with our heads toward the center. He chanted and sang while blowing smoke across our bodies with a condor feather.
This was June 2001.
I had a crazy good healing practice with lots of great clients. My home in Encinitas was perched on the cliff with a magnificent view of the ocean. All my dreams had manifested! Yet, something was still missing…
I saw it in myself and I saw it with my clients. I felt there was a piece missing for direct healing; our work felt like a lot of Band-Aids. It just wasn’t a full-tilt boogie life. Once again, I faced the possibility that what I was doing was all a lie.
So... I went silent for a year. I left the church. I stopped taking and teaching classes.
Then one day another bi-polar episode almost took the life of a beloved family member. While she was falling apart, I fell apart. I couldn’t affirm or pray my way out of this one. A dear friend of mine said, "Why don’t you see a shaman?” I answered, “What the heck is a shaman?” (I had no clue at that time that the guide in Macchu Picchu was a shaman.) My friend brought me a catalog with the logo of an eagle with 2 lightning bolts; I recognized it as a vision that had been coming through in my dreams.
Subsequently, instead of seeing a shaman I signed up for the first course. After the very first class, I knew I had found what had been missing all along: SOUL! Well, I’ll be damned. Shamans work at the level of body, mind, spirit, but most of the work is reclaiming the soul.
You can probably tell by now I was skeptical. Another huge program...the money, the time, etc.
So I practiced my new skills with willing clients, testing the waters so to speak. Lo and behold...we were witnessing profound changes, not only in them, but in me! I surrendered and signed up for the next class! I came home and to practice and experiment, witnessing even deeper changes in me and my clients. This stuff was working! Okay, on to the next class-experiment and then the next class-experiment…you get the picture.
Magic was Happening!
I was on fire and my clients were on fire. They wanted more!
In response, the guide and teacher in me started to resurface. By now I knew the map, was excited to teach it, and had plenty of direct experience of the medicine. However, I had to reign in the teacher. I didn’t want it to be just a mental map for the students. I wanted it to be as profound of an experience as I was having in my training.
It is the energetic transmissions of the Munay-Ki that brings the fusion of human and spirit. This is what I had been 'seeking' ALL along... a sacred connection that is now embodied through these energetic rites!
Munay-Ki are the energetic transmissions made available for everyday people allowing them to go beyond the mind and intellect and reclaim their SOUL.
MAY WE WALK IN BEAUTY AND LIVE EVERYDAY SACRED.
As I sit and write this many years later, I am eternally grateful for my guides (seen and unseen) and for the many students and clients who have said YES to themselves, their families, their communities, and the planet.
I have made a vow to my soul and in-spirit to bring this ancient-yet, timeless map of the sacred to the many people who are seeking a soul-led life.